>>14684Oh boy...I'm not sure how much love my mom gave me as a child, but I get emotionally overwhelmed whenever people are intimate with me
When girls hug me, even in a friendly way, I get surprised
One of my best friends is a girl and she has done things like kiss me on the cheek after not seeing each other for a while. Stuff like that hits me hard, and I start to catch feelings for her.
Or when friends, including males, disclose feelings and personal matters. I panic a bit and don't know what to say. Likewise, I rarely let them know about my emotions outside bursts that feel like I'm unloading on my therapist (which I don't have).
I don't really want sex. But I crave to cuddle.
I don't think I have a good understanding of what affection means. I see quasi-romantic reasons behind it.
I don't think it's healthy.
I also find it hard to love others and myself. I definitely trends towards selfish/egotistical, in that I don't think of others' needs before my own. Which is strange because there's a lot about myself I hate.