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File: 1443196612757.jpg (189.48 KB, 824x543, depression-and-anger.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

ID: 5fbd73 No.14679[View All]

What issues do you have, lainons?
62 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.
>>

ID: 7e61fa No.15104

I was diagnosed with chronic depression after my family drove me to see a psychiatrist.
Can't blame them, I would drag myself to a doctor too I was someone else.

Personally tough I call bull soykaf on that whole process, I don't want to swallow pills permanently to feel better.

Don't get me wrong, I want to stop being in a useless state of mind.
I want to get fixed, the only way it would work for me long-term is through self reflection and friends.

I admit it does not work out as easy as prescriptions, I still fail to get myself together sometimes when going through tough times.
But I feel that I gain more control over myself which helps me break out of such phases.

Also I want to raise a question:
How do you deal with a bad mindset around family lainons?
Every time they know that something's up I have to turn them down to not burden them even more.
This however bums out everyone even further, it can't be helped.

>>

ID: f389a0 No.15107

>>15104
Feeling just the same. The more you include them into your problems, the more they suffer and thus make you suffer. There is no way, than going out of yourself on your own. Depression is a contagious disease. One has to suffer the way out or the way in. Either way will lead to death, but one of them will grant some reward, while the other just bears despair until it ends,

>>

ID: a813bf No.15130

>>15107
>Depression is a contagious disease.

Yah, recently I had a pretty bad hit of depression (that had components of psychosis and intense physical discomfort) and I've been keeping everyone I know ignorant
I'm tired of being that super-negative person in all my friends' lives

>>

ID: a4903d No.15148

>>15013
Show it.

>>

ID: ce398e No.15149

I am a normie that is overly paranoid sometimes. Other than that I am fully functioning.

>>

ID: 6020eb No.15159

File: 1443651999859.png (132.21 KB, 636x699, Wrong Side of the Tracks.PNG) ImgOps iqdb

I've thought a lot about the intrinsic roles we are inherently disposed to fill by our true natures, and think that if you can narrow down what your internal directives [are], and seperate them from what you know others maintain your external function [should be], then you can find a clearer vision of your most likely role in this current epoch.

Long ago, we may have been well-suited to be medicine men, or shamans, or lorekeepers of our villages. Those same fundamental processes churn away in our minds, but the artifical layers of society in which we are forced to live under have distorted all things and made it hard to even exist inside of ourselves. I'm not designed to handle a mortgage, of this I am certain. Soon I will have to act as executor of my father's estate, though...

I find that I am compelled beyond anything to dole out re-programming information, if that makes sense.

People may incorrectly conclude that I am bossy, or selfish, or trying to force them to become someone else, but as far as I can tell, my natural role is to use information and data to guide others. If they don't want to listen to what I have to say, then I don't mind at all, but their role is therefore one of avoidance of growth. My music is just an extension of this, as it sees me using soundwaves to try and alter the states of mind of other human beings, in the same way that my spoken words and written text are just tools to induce knowledge, using 0s and 1s to try to bring about new states of mind.

I am not a realtor, or a cashier, or a builder...these things don't fit me and don't last when I try to do them.

I am however, a reclusive data-collector, and the more I realize that this human behavior comes naturally to me, the easier days can become (unless they were always going to be those days which seem barely survivable)

>>

ID: 6d6b69 No.15166

>>14815
Not to start an argument, but what about death makes you believe it is the end? It seems to have about as much evidence as immortality, which is essentially none. Apologizing ahead for being one of those annoying neutrals.

>>

ID: 6d6b69 No.15167

I'm never going to amount to anything.

>>

ID: b62426 No.15168

>>15167
No one will.

>>

ID: 301082 No.15183

>>15159
You forgot about the hijra
People were never natural.

>>

ID: 75792a No.15190

MDD and anxiety. Have selfdiagnosed HPPD but it has been getting much better recently.
I am not taking my medicine, fuarrrk that soykaf, it only fueled anxiety and hallucinations.

>>

ID: 2c3db9 No.15192

Severe social anxiety. This turns often turns into depression, because, well, I can't do much (other than university where I skilfully avoid socialisation-requiring courses).
On the path to wizardry.

>>

ID: de027c No.15222

>>15089
What changed?

>>

ID: de027c No.15223

>>15183
This is the fuarrrk ing bull soykaf that pisses me off. Nothing in this post was about trannies. But you assume everything is about you (because you've been socialized male, partially) and respond as if it is.

Christ, cut off your dick if you want, you'll never lose the male entitlement unless you confront it directly, but you won't because you'd rather believe that taking lessons on how to uptalk and walk in high heels makes you a woman.

>>

ID: de027c No.15224

>>15130
I recently had more of a rough patch than usual and everything splashed over onto my family and friends. Never again.

>>

ID: b4af17 No.15238

hello NSA
I have trust issues. I am very good at making friends but most people seem distant for some reason

>>

ID: b4af17 No.15241

>>14683
it's gonna be okay, you'll make it. I think I know how you feel. my life has fallen apart many times, and every time I've been through it and learned from it. my love has kept me going and if it got you to here it will keep you going too. I believe in you

its not BS if it works

I like you and all I've read was one post. I often used to think nobody liked me, then I started sharing all of the kindness I could muster and people started sharing it with me and each other


things break and thats okay. you aren't bad because of it, its just how things are

>>

ID: 0fd3d4 No.15262

Definitely ADHD...

>>

ID: 016fb5 No.15283

People with self diagnosed ADHD, why not get a diagnosis? It can't be that hard if chads in college do it to pass their finance midterm. Do you not want to take meds?

>>

ID: d3cdb7 No.15337

>>14679
ABDL but i understand most of us are sperglords who are creeps so I keep that soykaf to myself.

Trans but same as above keep on the down low as much as humanly possible.

anxiety and depression but thats gone away a lot since I got a job the requires me being physical a lot, my therapists recommended exercise forever and I was fuarrrk ing pathetic to reject it but its doing wonders now.

I used to consider nihilistic feelings like I dont matter and nothing I'll probably ever do or anyone I'll ever know will matter but now I just accept it and I'm happier than buying into the idea I'm special

>>

ID: 32b4c5 No.15339

>>15283
I tried to get a diagnosis but they loaded me up with anti psychotics and I couldn't handle it.

>>

ID: 32b4c5 No.15340

>>15339
they also treated me like a liar.

>>

ID: 2fe18c No.15393

>>15340
But actual liars can and do get adderall scripts all the time. Why not just go to an easier doctor?

>>

ID: 15e16f No.15397

>>15393
maybe not as easily as you think. upper class people get the easy doctors, but if you're poor then you're stuck with the bad doctors who don't want to give you anything for fear of being a criminal

>>

ID: 6d6b69 No.15434

I have been struggling a lot with maintaining an either religious or Atheistic viewpoint of reality. It really irks me, far more than the average person, that one of the biggest questions out there is unfalsifiable and I am completely ignorant to it. I get the whole "ego" thing, but I just cannot stop thinking about it no matter how much I tell myself that. I'm not afraid of death or lack of purpose, I just want to know, regardless of what is true.

>>

ID: 3099a6 No.15457

I have really bad problems with motivation, I want to do a lot of things and learn as much as I can before I croak but I just can't physically force myself to move

>>

ID: de027c No.15464

>>15397
Rich people don't pay out of pocket even for psychiatrists. If you have insurance you should still be able to shop around. If you don't, obviously it's another can of worms.

>>

ID: de027c No.15465

>>15457
Too real

>>

ID: a49d82 No.15468

>>15013
>Oh, and to make matters worse, my dick is so big, every time I pop a boner, I nearly pass out from a head rush due to all the blood 'loss'.
>weather phobia
>wouldn't download a meme
dude you are either a troll or the protagonist in a comedy.

>>

ID: a49d82 No.15475

>>15434
do read into epistemology if not already, even the assumption that there is a truth to be known is kinda fuzzy.

>>

ID: 3099a6 No.15476

I have a problem with reading, I can't even read a full article without getting distracted or bored

>>

ID: 1dbd6e No.15481

>>15013
>my dick is so big, every time I pop a boner, I nearly pass out from a head rush due to all the blood 'loss'.

Whut. The answer to all your problems is right there then: Do Porn.

>>

ID: 223603 No.15545

File: 1444275191443.jpg (74.87 KB, 633x772, 1443749093987.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

I hate myself and find it hard to speak up when I need to. 2nd to last paragraph of >>14956 is pretty accurate to how I feel.

lately I've noticed that I sometimes refer to myself as "we", should I be worried?

>>

ID: 7ffffd No.15573

When I go to bed I imagine I'm a qt that's cuddling up to me. It helps me sleep. I've heard this is common but I'm worried because I don't want to 1: start talking like a qt in my sleep and creep people out or 2: end up at a point where I can't comfortably have qts cuddle with me because I'm more comfortable with someone's arms around me or lying on someone's chest.

>>

ID: 7ffffd No.15574

>>15434
I've been having similar problems to you. I've been having problems with wanting to be Christian again because I love the fellowship and whatnot and it would help me bond with my family, but at the same time I honestly don't believe in god or the afterlife or anything like that.

>>

ID: 1dbd6e No.15580

>>15545
>lately I've noticed that I sometimes refer to myself as "we", should I be worried?

Enjoy your demon.
Seriously though, get that thing out of you.

>>

ID: 930188 No.15582

>>15545
>lately I've noticed that I sometimes refer to myself as "we", should I be worried?
I have noticed that people that are afraid during fight or flight response of having a debate with somone will fall back on using plurals to back up their points(and mostly use "we" to fall back onto the idea that their opinion is backed up by some larger group, more people than person is arguing with).
ie "Well, we don't care about what your opinion is"
I would like to ask you, when do you use this "we"? During debates with others or everyday use?
It might be that you're using this mental idea of tribe behind your back to not feel scared during your whole day because you feel scared of other people?

>>

ID: 706811 No.15583

I take anti-depressants which work wonders. Most times I'm pretty neutral, not feeling anything. It's rare that I get ecstatic or sad. I'm at my baseline so I'm comfortable with it, I still have a good time socializing and having the buttsaxu so no complaints. The GovCorps' drugs are working so far. I do have anxiety issues though, I vent it by chewing the skin areas around my fingernails. I try not to do it too much but idk.
Finally I have visual snow which means I can barely tell if it's raining lightly or if it's my eyes. It's not too obvious as you might expect, but it might just be with me for so long that I don't notice it as unusual sometimes. is like kicking dead whales down the beach not being able to fall for optical illusions, everyone seems to enjoy their weirdness.

>>

ID: 4004cf No.15586

I suppose I could use the opportunity to vent.

I'm not sure what, if any, mental illnesses I have. Nothing major, I suspect; I haven't been to see my GP about anything. I've considered it, but I always change my mind and think something along the lines of "get over it, it's not the end of the world". I don't often feel depressed, at least not these days. Stressed, certainly. Quite a lot lately.

I often catch myself making stupid fuarrrking decisions, even after having identified the better decision to make and being consciously aware of what I'm doing. I don't have a clue why, I just seem to tell myself "it'll be okay" or something along those lines. I've lost a couple of jobs this way. I suppose in the long run it has worked out okay--I'm still alive, my girlfriend hasn't left me, and apart from the aforementioned stress I'm generally okay. But this behavior niggles at me. I try not to focus on the past, but I find myself doing it fairly often regardless, and it's always about all the stupid decisions. I tell myself I won't make one again, that I'll stop myself and do what I know is right, but I think it's unlikely I'll ever follow through.

I lie quite a lot. Even to the people I love. (You could say especially to the people I love.) I despise myself for it, but it's so hard for me to control. The second there's even the hint of an opportunity for it, my brain has fired into overdrive and constructed one, and I blurt it out. Most of the time there isn't even anything to gain, in fact it'd often be easier to just tell the truth, but I do it anyway. I've talked to the people closest to me about this, so they aren't overly hurt when I do it... or so they say. I should still (somehow) make more of an effort to pack it in, though.

I think that's about it. Depression seems so rampant. You hear about it on the news, but the scope of it doesn't really sink in until you meet people affected by it, whether online or off.

>>

ID: a2cceb No.15594

File: 1444406732713.png (225.35 KB, 500x375, 1433017582821.png) ImgOps iqdb

I don't know. I've been diagnosed with severe depression (+symptoms of psychosis) for the last decade now. I've always had huge issues with trust and intimacy. I got addicted to self-harm and developed an eating disorder. At some point when I was still underage, I practically fled my home due to not wanting to deal with an abusive and unstable single parent. Moving alone to another city while suffering from depression resulted in me being a RHINO at school for years, living as a shut-in; no friends or family, nothing. When I wasn't sleeping, I was playing games and fapping. I occasionally tried to go to school, but almost always just left after attending one class or sometimes immediately after arriving. Just felt like I was an outsider, and that everyone knew I shouldn't be there. My ability to speak was severely impaired, though I tried to remedy this with talking to myself. I gained ~20kg due to meds, binge eating and a seriously inactive lifestyle. I just wanted to die, but I thought it would be utterly shameful to off myself without even graduating from high school.

Things are better now; I switched schools and got myself a working medication. I also started jogging and lost about 10kg. I now live with a family member and my best friend; it's nice to have a chance at some basic human interaction every day. I'm about to graduate in two months, after that I'm going to enroll to a university and probably study something science-related. I doubt I'll ever be as good as my peers, since I've basically just wasted my youth (I'm 23 soon) doing nothing. I know I had dreams and aspirations as a kid (doctor, hacker, something related to cybernetics maybe etc.), but they all seem to be so out of my reach I don't know what to do with my life.

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ID: 3b66b2 No.15630

I'm constantly depressed, attach myself to people to the point where I'm obnoxious, have really bad body image issues, dissociate, and have no self confidence. Also, I constantly feel like my life is spiraling out of control and all I can do is sit there and curl up in a ball and watch, even though reasonably there are so many things I can do to stop it or at least slow it down.

And I'm trans, if that counts.

Fun soykaf lainons. Fun soykaf ...

>>

ID: 69fd39 No.17183

How is everyone doing?

>>

ID: 3b1bb8 No.17195

>>15630
are you me?

>>

ID: 8c01eb No.17240

File: 1445963238133.png (123.77 KB, 362x335, clippy.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>17183
Decently, I am physically healthy, so that's something.
Mentally on the other hand, I'm a mess.
Can't really get along with people, very anxious too and can't handle change very well.

I close myself off of the world, sit in my room all day without friends and very little contact with family.
I don't even feel depressed, I just feel neutral but I do feel that this mindset of mine really keeps me from making anything of my life, I am NEET, with no dreams or anything, I just live.

I am working to fix this, got diagnosed with something from the autism spectrum, getting some help for that now too but it all takes a lot of time.

>>

ID: 04f521 No.17241

>>15594
There is nothing stopping you from being as good as your peers. You are a little behind, but you should just keep focusing on improving yourself. Measure your progress relative to yourself. Solidarity from another depressed Lainon trying to get his soykaf together.

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ID: ec51fe No.17876

Constant paranoia. Not about other people, but about rockets dropping close to me. Really weird and annoying because loud noises seem to always start it up.

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ID: 769098 No.17882

I don't know what it's called other than social retardation

basically I barely speak to people, I cant really make eye contact if I do speak with them also I cannot talk about my self at all. I don't make friends and if I do some how end up with some I have no problems cutting off all communications with them whenever it suits me. Generally I feel like everyone is judging everything I do, down to how I am breathing and walking.

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ID: 55c2e2 No.17883

>>15222
The amount of education. My mother heard something about it and researched it. Brought it up to me a bit and then talked to the Doctor about it when I was there for my physical, but I denied I had any such thing, even though I didn't really have any good idea what it was. Why? Well, I was afraid of that "disorder" part of being diagnosed with ADD. I thought that that would mean there was something inherently wrong with my brain, and I didn't want that. And my doctor said that he wouldn't diagnose anyone with something like that if the patient themself didn't agree.

After that, I started looking up stuff about it on the side. You know the official lists they have? And some of them list behaviors and such and say that if you meet like half of them you probably have a disorder? Well, reading them and seeing that I fit every single criterion made me start thinking. Thus, my attitude change, and when I went back in to see my doctor, he and I had a serious discussion about it, and I got a diagnosis.

Life has improved greatly since then, and I am close to getting my 4.0, if I just don't mess up on anything from here out.

>>

ID: fc6b91 No.17886

My depression has increased dramatically in the past two months. My girlfriend is saying that she is tired of me, and I'm scared of being alone. Yet she also says that she'll love me no matter what, and that she won't leave me. I believe her, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like crap. And she gets really upset when I talk to her about my issues. But at least I have a therapist, and that helps me a lot.

>>

ID: 77835a No.17890

>>17882
I managed to make a friend on the internet after years of nothingness, and now I block all his communications when possible because I just don't feel like talking to him anymore. It's my fault I'm alone.



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