r - random

who /woke up from hillary/ here?

Do you guys subscribe to any deadtree publications?

well, well, well, what have we here???

thank u very much debbie-chan!

Musings of a tired dorq

I'm not sure if this is an appropriate post for /r/, but this is the only community I can reach out to in any meaningful way and I need to talk about this.

I'm in a situation where I am hyperaware of the absolute meaninglessness of everything. The principles on which society is built, and on which our morality is founded. The expectations people have of one another. All of it is fake, shallow, bull soykaf . I mean, I know this is a relatively common experience, but I have been experiencing a lot of negative stuff alongside it.

I guess the most concerning thing I've been experiencing is an extreme detachment and alienation from both myself and the world around me, as though I am an empty being observing a hallucination of reality. I float through life without having much in the way of life experiences. hardly remembering what I do from day to day because it's like I'm in a dream. In the past, I'd withdraw into myself when exposed to the problems of the world and of the human condition, but I've found that I am increasingly empty in the roots of my being.

I also experience this alienation when I observe the behavior of other people. It's as though they're completely ignorant of all of the things I am experiencing, because if they had experienced them they would be more like me. I suppose I don't want to accept the alternative because it means that the differences between me and other people is that I lack the ability to cope with these negative experiences. I don't want to think that I am broken, and instead project this brokenness onto the fabric of reality, clinging to certain strains of social and individualist anarchist thought, existentialism, and Gnosticism. I know that probably sounds edgy, but that isn't my intent. Frankly I'm not sure if I am legitimately interested in any of those things or if I'm just desperate for some sense of security and hope.

Because of my social isolation and intense feelings of alienation, I've continued to withdraw from anything I see as threatening, and the extent to which I isolate myself warps my perspective of what constitutes a threat. I try to avoid anything that could shatter whatever is left of my internal world.

Lains, I'm really hurting. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I don't think I was meant to exist.

I'm sorry for the blog post. I normally wouldn't post something like this. I just need someone to hear this.

Ok, I didn't come up with this, but I laughed:


Hackers: Hereos of the Computer Revolution
Steven Levy

Crackers and phrackers! Phreaks and geeks! War dialers, phone tone toot-whistles and classic BBS textfile collections!

All of it more retarded today than it's ever been. A wholly irrelevant compendium of what clumsy, fat kids do with their lives in between rounds of hard prison time.

Surprise: Puerto Ricans will stab you in the airport restroom and steal your long-distance calling card.

A veritable encyclopedia of everything already known. People, places and things which ceased to be interesting twenty years ago. Impotent like Clifford Stoll, timely as System 7. The book nobody will ever talk about.

I did something stupid today, I cut my tongue on the lid of my drink from Wendy's then proceeded to eat the fries...what's the dumbest thing you've done today? Pic not my tongue.

How do I get myself to stop wasting so much time?

Everyday I waste so much time refreshing forums and stuff. Lainchan isn't so bad since it's slower, but it happens with Hacker News and sometimes 4chan. I don't even enjoy the content in those sites, but it's an impulse to go to them.

How can I develop the self-discipline to not do this? It makes me feel terrible when it's been say, five hours and I haven't done what I needed to do. I don't even care that much about not doing schoolwork/studying, but I feel like I am wasting time I could be using in learning interesting stuff by myself.

Thanks for any help.

maybe?
I think hnw is pretty /cyb/ cause big fuarrrking wall annihilating every possible sound. Anyway. For starters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkSx-AoJmPk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNbglOu_IuY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78brHnjcAd0

Spam me your noise please.

Is there some lainons practicing telekinesis ?

It's kinda fun, and I wonder how far we could go. Don't hesitate to share your pro-tips !