drg - drugs 2.0

Due to the character limit, I have to break this up, but oh well.

I used to be pretty interested in drugs, never enough to touch them though. It intruiged me on how they altered the mind and body. I eventually came upon the urban-myth that the common household herb, parsley, could get you high. This sprung an idea into my young, newly teenager mind, "I should tell everyone, maybe I'll be cool". Little did I know what was about to entrail on my quest for popularity in the cruel battle stage that is middle school.

The next day, I go into school. I had already knew everyone else who was interested in drugs and mind altering objects, so I approached them with my new-found knowledge. I tell them how parsley, when smoked, can get you high. They begin to get pumped up, as their parents all had this at home. About a week later, they all start saying how I was right, then proceed to complain about how they're all out of parsley now, and aren't sure how to go about getting more.

Then the idea hit.

I should start selling it, I thought that night. The next day was Friday, store day… I could tell them to wait until Monday, and steal some parsley for them and sell it. Friday morning I enter school tired and limp from the 4 hours of sleep I got due to my sheer excitement of my new idea. What a genius I was! I powered through the day telling all of my new friends and future clients about selling them the parsley. I told them to come in Monday with 20$ in their pockets, their dull middle-schooler brains thinking that this was a good idea. Later that day, at Wal-Mart, we stroll through the baking isle… There it was, the sweet parsley of which will be softly shoved into my sweater pocket and held captive in my room until the coming Monday. I quickly snatched two canisters of it, and shoved them deep into my pockets… I felt the adrenaline fuel through my veins as my plot started to taste sweeter and sweeter.

It was happening.

All weekend it seemed I could do everything but sleep as my mind wondered frantically through the idea of not only making money, but fooling people in the process. Even watching Saturday morning cartoons wasn't enough to bring this 14 year olds' brain off the subject. But alas, I waited patiently for Monday. Who would've though I would look forward to a Monday rather than the weekend?

The Monday came all too slowly, I gathered my "supplies" as soon as I wake up. Shoving the parsley into little baggies, caging it only to be freed into the lungs of a dullard teenager. Once I stumble off the bus, and get into school, I go to the bathroom. There they are, waiting for me to pull out the most profitable placebo I have encountered. I quickly, and nervously pull out the parsley from my backpack, waiting for them to give me the money first. They oblige, I give them the parsley. It's a done deal, and I've made 100% profit. Oh the sweetness, it was here. I had just made $60 off of these kids, and they didn't even know. I let out a slight cackle and said "Nice to do business with ya, sirs", and laughed again. They laughed along with me, little did they know, I was laughing at their stupidity.

Over the coming weeks, I did the same as before. Scheduling meetings with them in the bathroom and sending them along with the fresh herb. Making about $60 a week, I was golden.

It was happening.

All weekend it seemed I could do everything but sleep as my mind wondered frantically through the idea of not only making money, but fooling people in the process. Even watching Saturday morning cartoons wasn't enough to bring this 14 year olds' brain off the subject. But alas, I waited patiently for Monday. Who would've though I would look forward to a Monday rather than the weekend?

The Monday came all too slowly, I gathered my "supplies" as soon as I wake up. Shoving the parsley into little baggies, caging it only to be freed into the lungs of a dullard teenager. Once I stumble off the bus, and get into school, I go to the bathroom. There they are, waiting for me to pull out the most profitable placebo I have encountered. I quickly, and nervously pull out the parsley from my backpack, waiting for them to give me the money first. They oblige, I give them the parsley. It's a done deal, and I've made 100% profit. Oh the sweetness, it was here. I had just made $60 off of these kids, and they didn't even know. I let out a slight cackle and said "Nice to do business with ya, sirs", and laughed again. They laughed along with me, little did they know, I was laughing at their stupidity.

Over the coming weeks, I did the same as before. Scheduling meetings with them in the bathroom and sending them along with the fresh herb. Making about $60 a week, I was golden.

>>1368
sheeit, why did it not paste what i wanted to...

But then it hit me.

"Why should I be doing this?" I questioned myself, "I can send others to do this for me, and give them a cut, they'll have more connections too, therefore I'll become richer". Genius Illu! Genius!!! The next week, I ask a couple of close friends to get in on it, four of them to be exact. I tell them the business strategy, and tell them how I already have three clients ready. They immediately get in on it. We discuss cuts, I give them $5 per sell to start with. They're okay with that so far. I start to feel like a boss; a mob boss.

Over the next few weeks, we gain clients. Tens of kids are getting in on this new craze, getting "high". We start making more money. "This is good," I think to myself, "real good". The distributers get pay raises, so do I. We're bringing in around $200 a week, I raise them to $10 dollars per sale. I get $100, the distros get $100 combined. Business is running well.

Then I found out something

Turns out one of my distributors was using the product, I laughed, but it was still serious. He was using what we could sell… I couldn't let that happen. I fire him, and pay $50 bucks to a kid for my former employee to be taught a "lesson". He indulges. My ex-distributor gets tutored by my hitman. All is fair in the mafia now, we're back to making money.

The coming weeks brought in heaps of cash that I quickly sent away in exchange for petty things. As more and more students got tacked onto my scam, the more and more I made… the better and better I felt. Throughout the career that encapsulated my entire 8th grade school year, lots happened within The Parsley Mafia.

Things kept up pretty smoothly for a while, until one kid decided to not pay. That was a bad decision for him. My distributor quickly did the most reasonable thing he could think of at the moment.. Beat the kid up. The kid swiftly gave back the goods and ran off. It was starting to feel like a real mafia.

A couple other kids had to be taught their place in the process, some worse than others. It was in the back of my mind for a while, "is this too far?" But alas, my teen brain thought about the money, and only the money.

We had to go deeper

I came up with the "genius" idea to cut pieces of paper into tiny squares… "acid". I sold it off for about 25 bucks a pop, the clients ate it up, literally and metaphorically. Of course, this led to some.. interesting situations. There was a kid who took this "acid" in class, of course only I knew the truth..

Fast forward to during math class, listening to the boring lectures of our monotonous teachers voice, with me falling in and out of the lovely demon known as sleep throughout the class. All the sudden, a scream was set forth, and not a fake scream. No… This was a blood-curdling scream brought forth from the gates of this kids diaphram, which can be safetly called under the pseudonym of "Hell". Everyone startled at this random calamity that has been sprung into our ears.. oh god our poor ears. Something set this kid off, seemingly nothing. Little did he know, it was really nothing. After being startled awake by it, the demon, I realised something… One of my distributors sold this kid the "acid" earlier. I didn't think it would actually work. I tried very dearly not to laugh as this kid had seemingly been onset with a delirium that none of my fellow students had seen before.

PUUUUUURPLEEEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He exclaimed, over and over as the teacher was freaking out over what was wrong.. He didn't respond. I'm now tearing up trying to hold back my laughter. He was promptly grabbed by the teacher and sent down to the nurses office. He came back normal as ever, the "trip" seemingly over. At lunch, I see him talking to my distributor, my distributor walks up to me and asks what happened. I told him. Turns out the kid wanted more, he wanted more of the acid that sent him purple with rage. I tried to hold back my laughter in the form of a small cackle. In the middle of lunch, I gathered my distros under the stairwell and sent them on their way with more "acid".

The rest of the day flew by at its normal speed after lunch, I went home and finished my homework, ate dinner, and went to sleep. Man this is a train ride, and I'm stuck on it.

That's all for now, I'll update more when I write more.

>>1373
Nice, I like it. Will be waiting patiently for the next update.

I'm back, wrote the rest of the story. Will post the rest in a sec

The time seemed to pass by exceedingly fast as the rush had filled my brain. I could feel the adrenaline as the thought of being a king raced through my body, my soul. It was certainly an experience I'd recommend to you fellows, if you could handle it at least. As badly as the stress got to me, the situation stayed stagnant. Everything was well, everything was even.

One week, a kid couldn't pay, he said he'd bring the money next friday… he never did. Since we were practically a mafia, we had him do a favor, deal for us. We now had 4 people on the team again, with me making 95% profit. Now, what happened to 100% profit that I was having before? Well, with the increased demand led to the demand of more small baggies to fill with "drugs". I had to spend about 5$ every couple weeks on these tiny baggies. Of course, this wasn't an issue, just a bit of a filler part of the story.

Fast forward to about 2 months before the school year ended… I had started selling flour as cocaine. Yeah. That happened. The kids bought it with no regards to their own health, or with any regards to how cocaine actually worked… They just knew to snort it. This led to some very interesting moments in the bathroom, I would walk in on snorting, gumbing, et cetera. One moment in particular stuck out though. This moment being almost up to par with the purple panic that had happened earlier in the school year.

A kid threw a chair

That's right, on this drug, he threw a chair. A client had bought some of this "cocaine" from me earlier in the day, and decided to try it out after lunch. Here's where it gets funny. After lunch we'd go to the bathroom, and then go back to class. Well, this kid stayed in for a teeny bit longer than he should've. He was snorting the most common baking ingredient, and getting "high" off it. About 5 minutes pass, the teacher starts to wonder where he is. He runs to the door of the class room, sneezing his snot-dough, with bloodshot eyes. He runs to his seat, when the teacher asks what he was doing in the bathroom, instead of answering normally. He stands up, sneezes a couple more times, and then throws a chair at the teacher. It made it all the way to the blackboard.

WHAM!!!!

The teacher just barely skimmed out of the way, the flour-fueled wildebeast stampeded out of the classroom with such a stumbling force that he knocked over another students desk. The teachers were looking for him for a couple hours, until they found him outside. He was swinging on the football post making monkey noises. When the teachers tried to catch him, he just ran. They only caught him when he tried to go back inside, the door was too heavy for him. When I heard this news, I had no choice but to laugh. Of course, this made me seem like the bad guy, which… I technically was.

After that hilarious incident, nothing much happened after that. Business started to teeter out just before school went out. I had thought about starting it up again, but decided not to for whatever reason. Some valuable info you might want to know though: before business had started to leave, we had been making about $500 per week collectively. Give 10$ per sale to the people, everyone made about 100$ a week.

Looking back on this soykaf now, it was so dumb and funny. And so illegal too. Possibly one of the most illegal things I've done in my lifetime so far. God damn was it worth it though. I'd go back to that moment if I could.

>>1379
9/10

>>1379
if this is true, you are a god

This reminds me of high school, when i convinced a kid to snort Pop-rocks.

>>1413
/thread

Kek'd

>>1423

Please tell me what happened, absolutely foolish.

in tenth grade at my school there was a school wide ban on salt, I convinced a bunch of 9th graders to snort it for fun and they kept doing it. the rest of high school was truly bland in flavor